It was a dark and stormy night and Detective Kittredge was finishing up some paperwork at the Pleasant View Police Department, where she was famous for her intelligence, flawless deductive reasoning, and level head. Just as finished documenting the latest string of bank robberies she had solved, she heard the door being thrown open.
"Oh, Detective Kittredge!" the woman who entered cried with a slight Southern accent, "You must help me, I do declare! My beloved William is missing!"
"Calm down, Ma'am," Kittredge said in a soothing voice, "I need only know two things, what is your name, and how long has your husband been missing?"
"Oh!" the lady said, a bit startled, "My name is Bella Trix, and William isn't my husband, he's my duck! My glorious pet duck! You see, here's what happened . . . .
"I was in my bedroom at my father's mansion, home alone except for the maid, Mrs. White. I was teaching William a new trick, he's very smart, you know." Bella wipped a tear from her eye.
"Please go on, Ms. Trix," the Detective urged.
"Oh, yes, well while I was teaching William, the door rang. Mrs. White did not answer it, so I did. It was a 'ding-dong-ditch' as those hoodlums call it nowadays.
"And when I returned William was gone! I scoured the house with Mrs. White's help but found nothing.
"Please, Detective Kittredge, I called the main police office but they said William had just wondered off, but he couldn't have! All the doors were shut, and his wings are clipped so he couldn't have flown out through the window!"
"Ms. Trix," Kittredge said, pulling on her trench coat and fedora, "I will do everything I can to find your duck. If there's a way to get William back safely, I will find it! Shall we head to your father's mansion?"
"You know, I bet it was that sneaky Mrs. White that took William!" Bella hissed as she and the detective entered her bedroom. "Why else wouldn't she answer the door?" To the maid she yelled, "GET AWAY FROM MY BED YOU LOWLY THIEF!" "Uh, Ma'am?"
"Don't mind Ms. Trix," Detective Kittredge said, coming to the rescue. "She is very agitated at the disappearance of her beloved duck."
"William's missing?" Exclaimed the maid in astonishment.
"William's missing?" Exclaimed the maid in astonishment.
The detective nodded. "Yes, and if you would be so kind as to fetch a glass of water for the lady, it would be most appreciated."
"Right away!" Mrs. White hurried off.
"Detective Kittredge, what on earth are you doing?" Bella asked as the detective got down on her hands and knees.
"Looking for clues, and I think I have found one."
"Do you know what this is, Ms. Trix?"
"If I'm not mistaken, it's a dog's chew toy." Bella answered with a confused look.
"Quite right. It must have been left by the ducknapper! Perhaps someone saw the man or woman whom we seek. Let's go outside and see."
"Excuse me, Miss," Detective Kittredge said a poor girl with ratty braids and a dress that was clearly too small who was sitting on the curb near the Trix mansion.
"Yes?" the girl asked timidly, looking up.
"Have you by any chance seen anybody out of the ordinary lately? Perhaps with a dog?"
"Oh, yes. She didn't have a dog, but she smelled a bit like one and was carrying a leash in one hand. Here she comes now!"
"Hey guys!"
"Kailey!"
"What? Oh, Molly, if you're looking for your glasses, Emily has them. For some strange reason she was wearing them, your Christmas dress and Kirsten's white apron." Kailey then noticed what everyone was wearing. "Hey, Kit, why are you wearing Molly's raincoat? It's not even drizzling and it's beastly hot out. Wait, why is everyone wearing 30's clothes? Did you guys throw a party without me?"
"No, you moron! We're shooting for 'Detective Kittredge!" Chrissa yelled.
"That was today?"
"Yes that was today!! You were playing the brutal petnapper that stole pets from rich aristocrats with the help of your vicious pack of dogs, remember? I reminded you, like, fifty times!"
"Oops."
"Hang on," Molly said, "If Kailey didn't take William, then what happened to him?"
Suddenly there was a bark and two animals came running by.
"William!" Chrissa screached.
"Sandy! Bad dog! Chase the squirrels, not the ducks!"
Chrissa grabbed William out of harms way and Kailey jumped on Sandy to restrain her.
"I don't know about any of you, but I'm still confused. How did Sandy's chew toy get in the room if Kailey didn't put it there?"
"Well . . . . .
"Sandy must've snuck in throught the open window. She had her chew toy earlier.
"Then, when she saw William, she must've chased him away and kicked the chew toy under the bed." Kailey explained.
"But who ding-dong-ditched me?" Chrissa asked.
"Oh," Kailey said hesitantly, "That was me. Practical joke."
"WHAT?" Chrissa sceamed and . . .
Jumped onto Kailey.
"Youstinkingidiot!WhattheheckwereyouthinkingwellI'lltellyouwhatImmagonnado......."
"Awcomeonitwasjustajokeandyou'renotevensupposedtohaveWilliamand......"
"Thank you for watching the pilot episode of 'Detective Kittredge' Starring Margaret Mildred Kittredge and guest staring Chrissa Marie Maxwell, Emily Rose Bennet, Mary Grace McIntire and Kailey Diane Hopkins. We hope you enjoyed it and please stay tuned for later installments. To preorder the first season on DVD or to order an official Detective Kittredge Trench Coat or Fedora please call 555-555-5555. Thank you!"
~Detective Kittredge~
(With help from
)
)
